Well that was savagely sliddery..the course has never been so abused and still it stands out as the best little race course in the World. Despite sabotage, accusations of being dated. Shes still as tough and as beautiful as ever. I’ve being reporting on the Club League for the past 4 races because the NPS is a total flop, its been completely mismanaged and unfortunately the riders and the organising clubs will suffer but I want my riders to have a great racing season regardless. But hey , the EPIC Club race, in its 7^th year continues to be the most reliable in all weathers.

Tonights battles were just as good as they always are, with most of the club big hitters and nearly all of our junior and women racers out in force. There were a few thrills and spills about the place with every rider on their limit  trying to squeeze as much out of the ferocious conditions as possible.

As usual Guest riders Scott Wallace and Agata from MAD  were ripping up the place , Scott is going to be some boy, he rides a bit like a young Bob Seymour, all elbows and power, tearing in to corners and hanging on to the wind on descents.

As usual the lanky figure of Ru DeVoy could be seen swaying magestically through the pines and over the slidery roots.

While Mr Daragh Smith of Moto Pitstop of Lanzarote, on business here buying Honda Goldwings that were left over from the Celtic Tiger Days, casually acting the mick while training for the Trans Heineken .

Meanwhile , in the depths of the woods, Alfie and Carol from Team Eamo , who sponsored there Jerseys, fight their own battles against the sideways fairies

But it was absolute dynamite Napoleans like Terry Mercury McDonagh andJohnnySixpack Doris that were sucking up the schlomp and farting rainbows that stole the show tonight, Terry is just back from having one of his extra testiclees removed and Doris was on his lunchbreak from work.

But the Hero of the piece tonight was Jacqui Howard, one of the Rebel Counties finestexports who won the race, fix that helmet Jacqui, we expect our Champions to look the part !

Well done to the timers and to Rasher for well, being Rasher.

Heres the results

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0An-TxjQ3ZZXddEdYVXNzWXRMWTdXZGVJR3JVd1R6REE#gid=0

Wow.. a big change from previous weeks where the racing was full on Man from Atlantis territory ..a perfect spring evening , warm, dry , windless…a crackin’ evening. As usual the fine weather brings out the crowds and all the big hitters arrive in their modest cars and roll out their finest race steeds. However theres always one joker like the infamous Jay Kenna with his retro Klein and his toobular forks..Rad dude !

Carol was first off up the hill and she was taking no prisoners , all on her own ! I couldn’t help noticing the big increase of teenagers now taking part in the Club League, not just regular Dangermen of The Future, Lavelle and Wallace..is it the double LLs that make these lads so quick..but I tell you , they are absolute gentlemen racers ! but our own new breed of superstars, Paddy, Daniel and Ryan..

It didn’t take long to see the little battles hotting up between riders..plenty of action at the top end between John Doris, Damo,JimboMc and Oisin..followed closely by Alfie,Ciaran and Kev Stanley. Meanwhile somewhere in the middlepack juggling pain and lunacy our very own Supersonic Smitters, Daragh Smith was gunning for the perennial wasted talent BON.

In the meantime..it was Don V Richard..between them over 100 years of hard drinking and substance abuse, now they have turned to the Arena of MTB racing to get their kicks

Not to be outdone the girls were hard at it , bringing some much needed glamour to a muddy forest on a mild and bright evening..

But it was at the sprint to the finish that all bets are off and friendships are forgotten.

Tonights winner was young Ryan McMahon, who if he wasn’t up here racing his guts out

on a bike that Santa brought him, he’d probably be standing outside a Centra somewhere leering at girls and overdosing on Tayto crisps and Cornettoes !

Well done Ryan and well done to Scott and Conor too, they might have won the actual race but lose the battle being non members but they are very likely going to tough it out all season in our Non Members league ! Everybody wins at the EPIC Club League !

Results

https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B3-TxjQ3ZZXdb0lCQUhSTURGWnc/edit?pli=1#

Race 2 dawned with the damp weather and grey skys. Jesus wept, I remember whole club leagues where it never rained for the whole 20 races. This year so far the first 2 have been wet ones. I’m not impressed.

However its not dampening the enthusiasm of the people taking part. Racing, its not just about the winning , its all about the winning. Racing brings you on like nothing else. It hones your skills, flattens your tummy and reduces the size of your arse. In fact it would cure world Economies if they were all made race the worlds best little race course.

This week we were trying out new software and a new method of recording the lap times and the results. We have a new team of super nerds and they have an Ipad. We’ve come a long way since the bits of paper and a pen.

We all assembled in the usual place and set off the first group of riders, Aine , Carol and Tommy. Aine put the hammer down straight away and took off up the climb and was first in to the singletrack with Carol not far behind her and then Tommy tipping along behind them being coached by his Dad.

Coming in low and fast behind was Brian Weber on his Cotic and he was promptly followed by our two youth Superstars, Paddy and Ryan.

Special Guest rider Scott Wallace led the main pack behind them, hes a dangerman of the future if I ever saw one, I just hope we can keep him away from the ladies and the cans of Dutch Gold to keep him on track !

I soon lost track of who was where and what lap we were on ..seeing pineapples growing up there didn’t help me either..that Alka Seltzer I had in 1978 may not have been an actual Alker seltzer !

Theres a lot of talent in Irish Mountainbiking at the moment and I hope these races will help them shine through. Many of Irelands finest XC riders have been made even better in the crucible that is the EPIC Club race, many friends have been made in its arena.

What it does is very simple, it takes a man ( or woman ) and it turns them into XC superstars, The Course is designed to be ridden hard and fast. It only really shines when you ride it like a cruise missile.

Aine McKenna from Roundwood, won tonights race

with Scott Wallace from MAD in 2^nd

Brian O Neill in 3^rd after outsprinting both

Richard Lynch in 4^th

And Carol Farrelly in 5^th

Well done to Adrian and the timers and Smithers, Keith Wallace, Ken Farrar and Dave Lawless for the support

So the sun is shining but its cold for April..too cold but everywhere is dry with a hint of slime according to Doctor Don O Connor of the Institute of Gnarology …So it was Djouce again today, thanks to Niall Davis who fixed it up for last weeks Gravity Enduro, shes riding sweet ! The place was over ran with people, even the posh Horse riding Queens asked me was there a race on again !

I think and now, don’t think I’m mad or nothing, ok, its just a crazy idea ; everytime there is a race , somebody from the whoevers running the show, should look at getting the venue turned in to a Trail Center, ok, maybe a bit of extra work would be needed but colour me mental, 300 people rode the place to death over 2 days, some of them had barely ridden a bike before the event nobody got killed, there was no user conflicts, no trees were harmed and strangely enough, everybody had a great time !! So why not and don’t laugh at me, I’m sensitive, organise to turn a fantastic resource like Djouce woods into a community adopted multi usage trail center, charge for parking, pay some out of work Banker or student to take care of the place and hey presto, a steady income..everybody would appreciate the security, if they were real smart they would get a REC 3 qualified person to do it, theres feckin loads of them cluttering up the mountain, stick an old emergency stash in a 20 foot Container and keep it secured in the car park,  theres so many unemployed people, retired people scratching their arses, students looking for cash, theres even insured, bonded outdoor educators looking for a foothold in these things..am I crazy ? The thoughts of providing a job and security and even some sense of safety would be a great thing.

Heres a photo of some nice people enjoying the wilderness !

A big thanks to Niall Davis and all his helpers and all the volunteers that stood at the timing stations and Daithi DeForge and Coillte for kindly giving him a permit to run the race in the finest Mountainbike Venue in the World. A big nod of the head also to our foreign guests who came and participated and gave us all a flavour of what to expect from International riders, thank you ! Some set up Mr Davis..some setup, I was going to take a hammer to my chip thing , it gave me grief at every single bleeding finish post except for one ! All manner of Paparazzi and International Playboys were at the event , classy , professional MTB journos in there finest gear ferried around by the best transport money can buy.

ah yeah what a day..Me and my trusty sidekick Daragh Smith ( Alfie has left me for Robin ) , which is ok, Daragh is a phenomenal rider on the downhill bits while I am a phenomenal rider on the climbs, so together we are like one deadly unit ! I already lobbied the UCI or Tesco , whoever runs Irish MTB these days and get them to change the rules to reflect this ! I rolled out the new machine..The Zesty 514..on its maiden rip ..the first section from the old trail above XTC gave me a few wobbles but once into BC, Sobc I was warming up,  and then when I got to the bottom that old bollix Rooney tried to rip my arm off to get at the timing thing ! But hey I’ll get him at the next one !

Section 2 was up off the old blue bin trail and the start was interesting until I reached the short climb sort of a section and I dropped my chain and fell over ..jesus wept I had to run up the hill, jump back on, ride up the bank and off down LimeJuicer , into Fartknocker and onto the flat fireroad bit..jesus wept..that nearly killed me..my legs wouldn’t work..then down the old NPS climb and into the section we used as a climb in the K Capital cup, down a steep bit to the finish

I won’t bore you with the rest of my race..you had to be there..suffice to say that Niall did a great job improving some of the trails we’ve been using there for years and added some really sweet sections. Some of those steep bits caught me out, I was expecting the trail to go elsewhere only to be fooled by the fecker !

There was a lot of happy people out there , some people pulled some outstanding results out of the bag..

i didnt get a lot of photos, too busy riding and talking..

Oh yeah..the Verdict..

Fair play to Niall and everybody involved, I’ve seen a lot of things come and go in the World of Mountainbiking since it was invented and this race format is a brilliant addition to the sport. It can be done by anybody on any bike, after all speed and the Gnar is relative, if you can ride a section and smile afterwards, then it and you have done your jobs.

I am very happy to see this series appear and I am delighted to see this one become a huge success. After all , you get to use a bike that can do everything, it can go up fast ( once you get the legs sorted ) and it can go down fast ( once I sort out the tyres, my glaucoma and the weird buzzing noise in my head ) , what more do you want..also..you can train for it by doing XCO and DH..so don’t sell either of those bikes yet.

I can’t think of anything else to say except more credit should go to the trailbuilders who pioneered Djouce as a venue, in particular Robin Seymour and Team Worc and my own Club EPICmtb, and maybe Rooney who once moved a stick off the top of the red road that one time ! Jesus..in the Summer its some place for midges.

Heres a photo of my lucky new Hat, thanks to the Cycle Superstore for the new Bike as well !

oh and news just in..Darragh got 3rd in 35 to 39 Category ! thats pretty deadly..go Team Lunatic ..

I think Mountainbiking is my favourite thing..:)

Sometimes it seems that its all about The Athertons, the Greg, the Robin, the swiss lad on the penny farthing , shredding the gnar, roosting the goober. Well heres news for you, its not. Out there in planet Mountainbike, there are home grown superheroes snatching an hour here and an hour there..just for that bit of an adventure. These guys are what its all about, these are the guys who put family and jobs first while the rest of us  crazy arsed selfish bastards are out riding in the dust and the schlomp and having one random adventure after another ! I know all the trails and I know how to conjure a hell of a micro EPIC adventure just by squinting at a mountain..I am just lucky that way.

Its hard work being a Mountainbiker in Ireland..especially one that lives right at the bottom of the most easily accessible mountain range in the world ..Now there are places in the world that boast bigger, scarier, sexier mountains..but to get there it costs a lot of money and sitting in Airports and then having to eat strange food and listen to people talking at you in strange languages, which is great and all but you can’t rock over to these places straight after work on a Tuesday or on your day off. I can do it every day if I want because I live in the worlds greatest undiscovered Natural Playground, Dublin ,Ireland. I know, we dont have freeride parks or chairlifts or Sexy ladies eating ice creams in the Cafes at the bottom of the Mountains. We were way too busy building houses in the Outer space of Leitrim and massive apartments beside even more massive apartments and gigantic shopping centers on top of slightly smaller shopping centers filled with shops we don’t need and clothes nobody wears ..when we really should have been developing the beautiful place God gave us..our wilderness. It might not be whistler or Chamonix but it could easily be something just as fantastic.

But hey I’m not complaining just observing the stupidity of the people in charge.

Just look at this..

Now just so you know..that wide trail, Mountainbikers didn’t make that or the MXers or the Horseys..thats a result of thousands of feet plodding up and down ! But they’re not .banned but we are feckin Potatoe Republic !

I would just like to take this opportunity to welcome Mel Spath to the land of the Potatoe, the creepy clergy , the Corrupt politician and those crazy greedy bankers ! She did a test today in the Irish Consulate in Finglas where she became an Irish Woman, so expect to see her collecting her Gold Medal in the Olympics in Rio wearing a fetching set of Pyjamas and a big pair of hoopy ear rings !

My god..I am so busy its not funny ! The bike business is booming I do more in a day in the Cycle Superstore than I did in a month in the other place and it just gets busier ! Any its after taking me since Sunday to sit down and write this.

It was one hell of a race with close battles all the way through the categories but spare a thought for the essential non racing people who volunteer to help keep the show on the road like the sign on ladies and the marshalls.

The day started for me with the Senior 4 races in which I participated, it seemed like too good a track to just spend my time walking around that I decided to pay up and do a couple of laps. What a course , so much deadly singletrack , hard climbs, a 90 minute XCO sprint..awesome.

But before the sufferfest started we all hung out on the start line of the S4 chatting about tyre choice and what sambos one enjoyed before racing, unlike the 1,2,3s and their gooch waxing and their Zoolander look competition !

anyway off we went at a fast strolling pace !! It was pain, it was egos on a stick but most of all it was pain until the first bit of singletrack was reached !

It wasnt long till it was all over and we were ready for the start of the senior beasties, Gay Byrne had come down from his Tower of Power in Howth and cheered everybody up. Great guy, fabulous dress sense and if it wasn’t for him, Bertie Ahern would be in prison !

the pace up the fireroad was ferocious with some seasoned S1 riders being caught out and squeezed out the back with Richie Felle getting the hole shot !

 Senior 2 was another savage start with Paddy Mackey from Team WORC leading the charge on his 29′er ! thats two 29′ers so far !

some savage battles were going on behind the leaders between the contenders..having been both at one time or another I can tell you that regardless of where you are in the race , you dont care once you are not last !

Next up was Senior 3 dominator Brian” Jack ” Hutchinson..his first time really racing after a hard winter being pushed by his Coach he is starting to shine through !

 Meanwhile the ferocious battle for top dog in senior 1 was going on and it was just 5 laps of brutal combat between rival Samurai , Buggle and Allen were like two Tekken characters throwing special moves at each other for 90 minutes ….it was like a world cup !

in senior 2 it was all about Team Worc Domination with Paddy Mackey, Stuart Galloway and Paul Coyne..

and burning along locked in their own battle royale was Alfie Wallace ( Expert Cycles ) and Mick Jordan ( Cycle Inn) and woe betide any poor unfortunate caught in their wake !

what a days racing, tears , joy, tantrums and blazing sunshine..crispy trails and a brilliant event.

But , the grading is a shambles with no management the S4 category is not what it was last year, the senior 3 race is over subscribed, people are turning up and entering Senior 1 having never raced before , you cannot do that anywhere else in racing, do we want that sort of stupidity going on in what is essentially an Olympic sport. People are jumping from senior 2 back to senior 3 after 2 races come on, whos in charge here ? This is like National Points Series of Irish Cross Country Mountainbiking, show it some respect please, earn your category , don’t assume because your Mammy thinks you are great that you actually are. This sport will never gain the credibility it deserves as long as nobody thinks its worth enforcing the rules !

Jesus..why oh why do I insist on drinking a bottle of Recovery Merlot the night before I go on an adventure..well I did and I woke up this morning feeling ropey..but I wasn’t scared or fizzing with trepidation because I was going for a spin with one of Irelands best ever Mountainbikers..Oisin Boydell, a Man of MAD, a Cycle Inn KTM rider..top Master rider from last year or the year before and one hell of a Mountainbike pilot. Of course hes the only rider I know who can get away with riding one of those ugly steel donkeys from England too..I didn’t look at it , I just kept admiring his gold coloured hubs ! So we met at Roundwood and went for a spin up the road..my intention was to ride around Lough Dan and then bring Oisin on a tour of Robins trail as he could’nt race last Sunday..hes been busy making another baby !

On our way some local drunkard tried to run us off the road, claiming that we were holding him up for work ! as if Drunkards like that had jobs, I suspect he was off up to Ballinabanjo and making more of his moonshine from used brillo pads and the odd potatoe !

Up by the Scout place and on to the walking trail the runs around the lake..an absolutely feckin lovely route but be wary, the locals are hostile. I’ve been accosted more than once by the isolationist West Brits that claim the place as some sort of Sanctuary

Once upon a time King Arthur lived up here, he even had some watery bint ( what movies is that from ?) fling a sword at him ! If you ever watch the movie Excalibur you will recognise the place.

Beautiful is barely the word to describe the place..all this Country has is its music and its landscapes and we barely scratch the surface of what we can offer tourists here. Instead we would rather get excited about what other people are doing on youtube and facebook, instead of doing stuff ourselves. Its a big old world and while we live here on the edge of civilization with the knees going out of our jeans and nothing in our pockets except old receipts we could be entertaining and scaring the outdoor world with our wild places.

So after we had our adventure scouting the lakeside, rather than head back the way we came we decided to follow the river out of there in to the West !

The fun really began there as we had to navigate some deadly singletrack , some serious bog, taking turns leading the way and going over the handlebars ! untill we got to the fireroad up on to the Military road..

Jesus wept it went on forever ..until we got on to the Military road and headed to the Sally Gap and that really went on for ever..why would anybody choose tarmac over dirt is beyond me ! Anyway eventually we got to head back down to the back end of Ballinastoe and had a look at the other Lake !

You have to be careful though..you could jump over the wall to your doom !!

SO after all that bleeding tarmac we earned a spin down the old POG course, where dinosaurs still roam and some amazing little tracks..ah yeah bliss ! After that we hit Roundwood and home !

I spent the rest of the day getting my hair done and washing the car and I even used the Hoover !

Then I had a magic bowl of crunchy nut cornflakes and hit the road again for the EPICmtb evening spins ! I hate night riding but with the right bunch of people its deadly..I hope that was the last one for this side of October..I did another 36 K on the spin and back home again..I’m writing this because there is absolutely nothing on the Telly and when I got home Glee was on and I was too hungry to fight the women of the house and when that was over there was feck all else and I was horribly attracted to watching ICA Bootcamp..

The G-Ride XC race March 2012

Situated in Annamoe ,Co Wicklow , Glendalough estate is one little beauty of a venue. Owned by the Balinsky Family and primarily an Equestrian  Centre, Kaz Balinsky came up with the idea of turning it into a Mountainbike Park and after some lengthy efforts from Robin and Geoff Seymour, the dream is nearly a reality.Last weekend saw the gates open to nearly 300 MTBers from all over the Country and one solitary American, Martin Allen from Boston via Naas.

The very best of Irish MTB were there and the morning was spent in bike prep and getting the machines ready for that big race !

The track has been greatly anticipated by Irish Mountainbikers and the venue like all Private Venues did not disappoint. Easily the best Venue and track I have ever seen. The race Village itself was centered right in front of the House and the starting paddock smack bang in the middle of the Car Park, as all great race starts should be.

The Course itself ran up past the House and wove its way up and outstanding series of switchbacks after a particularly technical section and at the top took the riders down one of the most amazing singletrack stretches you will find anywhere. Unbelievabe little kickers, swooping corners, wooden sections, until you came onto a savage section through old woods and over proper boardwalk sections and through even better singletrack, until it crossed a road and into more singletrack, up a slight climb and in to the bermy section , down the steep drop into the gardens and past the house and in to the finish.

Robin Seymour has been doing this for so long he is the ultimate craftsman of trails. You can see the scope of his experience from all the dozens of little features he put together. Everybody said to me that even though it was a fierce and technical course , it was an amazing course to finish and the climb was only a method of getting to the really deadly stuff !

The races themselves and I say races because lets not forget the Under 8/10/12/14/16 and senior 4/3/2/1s….every one of them was a hard fought battle between titans.

Heres the results ..

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0Atyw8wVfayLKdEdOcUhYNE4tYlJLMVRaUUxCaExPRWc#gid=0

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0Atyw8wVfayLKdFBZOWlwQ29yU0ltbWFTcGlKbXc5WHc#gid=0

This was the first XCO style event of the Season, it was a great way to see who has been putting in the effort and who has been eating all the pies and who is just not prepared ! Some people may be International Athletic Superstars but Holy Pope Benedict, would you look at the state of this lads saddle !

I love all kinds of MTB racing but XCO is my favourite…because its in XCO that you get to use the Mountainbike in its original form , sure theres all manner of mutations in use, 6” All Mountain Noddycarts, 100mm front and rear XC Sunday spin machines..nonsensical LT FR HT Boutique antique metal machines..bleh !!! but for most people it’s the good old fashioned Entry level Aluminium hardtail that’s the machine of choice..its like the Ninja sword, the Polo Mint, The Fig Roll or the Toilet seat, everybody , man, Woman or dog , loves them.

However, the Gride course is perversely suited to the full sustamatic MTB..whether it’s a 29’er or a 26’er or the bizarre 27.5 ( WTF !! ) or even something Mike Jordan made out of an old postmans bike and a trip to the dentist !

Anyway..you can tell from the photos that Robin won again, Peter Buggle was 2^nd..shocking, between the two of them they are 90 years of age !  Now while that’s great for the two lads , its not impressive for the rest of you !! However it was great to see Ray O Shaughessy doing so well ! Theres a man to watch ..there was no sign of Richard Patrick Felle, however I since learned he was in Galway winning the Blitz..yep, nothing like caning a field of your peers to make you feel like a superstar !

My best mate and Proprietor of Expert Cycles was doing fantastic until his front wheel completely discombobulated on him and put him out of the race..

However the riders of the day had to be Marlena from EPIC who ran away with the under 16 race,

and Brian (Jack) Hutchinson also from EPIC who took the win in Senior 3 , fantastic result.

but you have to hand it to this guy, Ryan Daly age 3 and a bit, storming the kids loop in under8s on a balance bike..Olympics in 2024 !!

I was there as Commissar, President of EPICmtb and Manager of the MTB Dept of The CycleSuperstore showing off my fleet of demo bikes. Living the dream I am !

At the end of the day these races are all about the people , people from various Clubs working together to bring off a brilliant event. All the parents, wives, brothers, sisters, friends, girlfriends , boyfriends, significant others..all get together to make our small sport in to a pretty big occurrence.

I’d personally like to thank Kaz for the loan of his garden for this event and the Glendalough House groundspeople and everybody who have supported Robin and Geoff in breathing life in to this. We need private venues like this, otherwise we are at the mercy of people who don’t appreciate the efforts we go to to promote and develop the greatest sport in the world.